“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” —EZEKIEL 36:26 (NLT)
We may not even realize how calloused our hearts have become until we meet someone who softens us. After countless trips to the hospital, it felt like I was treated as a number. Maybe you’ve experienced something similar. Pain being dismissed. Discharged with little answers or solutions. Feeling alone in your illness or grief. But this time was different. I met a nurse who thumbed through my thick charts. And with just a few words she restored my dignity. “What they did to you was absolutely wrong,” she acknowledged. “I just want you to know, on behalf of all of us, I’m really sorry.”
For years, I needed acknowledgment of my pain and justification that what I went through wasn’t fair. And here were the three words I had been waiting for: “I am sorry.” Isn’t it just lovely how we can give the gift of dignity back to one another? Slowly, we may find our hearts melting with mercy and love.
REFLECT
1. What is the condition of your heart right now? Is it full of joy and love? Is it guarded and protected? Is it beat-up and bruised?
2. How would it feel to hear someone say, “I am sorry that happened to you. It wasn’t right”? How would words of compassion and kindness restore your heart today?
RESPOND
Is there a way you can give this gift of restoration to someone else today? It doesn’t have to be for something you did personally. It could be by acknowledging the pain and struggle of another person and saying “I am sorry this is happening to you.”
A Blessing for When It’s Not Fair (It Really Isn’t)
The last time anyone let me say it– tears in my eyes, straight from the heart– I was a child.
Didn’t anyone tell you?
Life isn’t fair.
So I swallow it up.
But, God, without hearing you say it– “My love, this isn’t fair”– I am heartsick.
I ate this sadness and it became embarrassment; I ate this disappointment and it became bitterness.
God, let me hear you again say, “My Love, this isn’t fair.”
You will give me strength to take another step and courage to face my circumstances.
But, before the doing and trying and getting-back-up, you simply look at me and say, “I love you. I’m sorry.
Let me bless this heartsick day.”
[Kate Bowler. “When It’s Not Fair (It Really Isn’t)” in Have a Beautiful, Terrible Day: Daily Meditations for the Ups, Downs, and In-Betweens. (New York: Convergent Books, 2024). 13.]
GOING DEEPER
Listen as Kate shares the full story of how she received the great gift of restoration from a stranger in this conversation she has with Judy Woodruff in, “How Will We Live These Beautiful, Terrible Days” (6 minutes).