Suffering With
“Then Jesus began traveling throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every disease and every illness. When he saw the crowds, he was deeply moved with compassion for them, because they were troubled and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” —MATTHEW 9:35-36 (ISV)
Nurse and writer Christie Watson drove eight hours to meet Rachael, “the kindest nurse in Britain.” Rachael took care of people on the edges of society, so far on the periphery that not many could cope with the bundle of issues and illnesses that complicated their lives—drugs, violence, crime, and serious neglect. How did she do it, day in and day out? Christie wanted to know. “We don’t have time to judge them,” Rachael described, “because if we’re busy judging them, we don’t have time to love them.”
Perhaps Rachael is defining what is at the heart of compassion. Compassion is not about judging who deserves our attention or care. It is not about waiting for someone to change their behaviors or actions before we act in kindness. Compassion is, at its root, suffering with the person in front of us. (Literally, it’s what the word means in Latin: com = with, passus = suffering.) For anyone who has ever gone through something serious, this kind of compassion is magic that goes straight to the heart, transforming both the receiver and giver.
REFLECT
1. Why do people avoid those who suffer? If you are feeling honest, why do you avoid people’s suffering?
2. It is one thing to be the one offering compassion to someone else. It is another to be the recipient. Think of a time someone showed you compassion. How did it make you feel?
RESPOND
Listen to the ultimate Advent song, “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” (especially the last verse) and reflect on the kindest nurse in all of Britain’s wisdom. This week, how will you challenge yourself to respond in compassion instead of judgment?
A Blessing for Small Kindnesses
We have all been there where the day is harder than we have the strength to endure.
And a call comes in, a friend just wondering how you’re doing.
Such grace.
When the workload is crazy, but it’s just for a time and you keep going until you want to keel over.
And for no reason someone comes to take some small task off your plate.
Such grace.
When you have been the caretaker for too long and you start to lose track of personal hygiene or what’s in the fridge, and suddenly there’s a box of groceries at your door.
Such grace.
Or when it’s your turn to be the one in recovery, dry-lipped and needing just one ice-cube.
The nurse with the kind face that guessed it and came, just in time.
Such grace.
Blessed are the food makers, the errand doers, the temporary aunts and uncles who will swoop in and take your kid for an afternoon.
Blessed are the noticers, the witnesses, the thoughtful ones who see what is happening,
And do the small thing. The next thing.
But it isn’t small, is it?
It is a special kind of magic, because in that moment, it makes all the difference.
GOING DEEPER
Perhaps you work as a caregiver or caregive for someone in your family. We put together this support guide to encourage you in the ways you love and serve others.
Katherine and Jay Wolf were newly married and had just welcomed their baby boy when Katherine survived a catastrophic stroke. Katherine had to learn that she was worthy of care, as she’s spent years in recovery. Watch this clip as Katherine shares how we share our worthiness with one another (5 minutes).