For When You Are Not Ready
“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” —JOHN 14:6 (NRSVA)
Do you ever feel panic when you realize that Christmas is just weeks away? (And perhaps I have just set off that tiny alarm. Whoops!) You haven’t figured out the who, what, when, or where of the season. You haven’t created a menu or shopping list. You haven’t figured out what time and where the family is gathering, or who is coming or not. You haven’t prepared yourself for the annual Christmas party or family dinner and all the drama that goes with it. Advent can feel so overwhelming because all of the festive activities carry the weight and the baggage of the whole year. That divorce. That grief. That unmet expectation. That never-uttered apology. Or maybe you are simply too sick, too tired, or too sad and are having a hard time forcing yourself to spread any cheer. The Christmas season can be a great revealer. Revealing our hopes and expectations… and revealing the more-likely, less-pretty reality of life as it actually is.
This can be difficult to face. Writer Dani Shapiro describes it as “looking straight at the sun… sometimes we can only stand small glimpses at a time.” Maybe that is a reason Jesus came to us as an infant—we could only handle a little bit of the truth at a time. Whether you are trying to be more honest with yourself or with others, with your kids, or with your community, perhaps Jesus might show you how to take baby steps today without carrying the heavy burden of pretending.
REFLECT
1. Are you ready for Christmas (...and I am not talking about buying presents)? What is weighing on your heart? What realities (even the unfixable ones) do you need to acknowledge—maybe even start to embrace?
2. Holidays can be a perfect storm of emotions and expectations and fights that start with “YOU-ALWAYS!” What have you been pushing down that needs to bubble to the surface (even if it isn’t pretty)? As you reflect, remember to be gentle with yourself.
RESPOND
Who do you trust to hold this with you? Someone who will not try to fix it, but who is willing to sit with you or rejoice with you? What steps can you take today to reach out for support?
A Blessing For When the Promises Seem Too Far Away
God, draw me close, so my quietest thoughts feel safe.
I want to tell you everything. Everything that is true. Everything that is impossible.
May I hear your promises like an echo from another life, removed from how precarious and lonely this one can be.
I will wait, and I will listen, until quietly I hear you say: Child, now is the time for small and gentle things.
Keep everything that is harsh far far away.
For you are worth protecting.
Do just the simplest things that speak life.
You’re free to reach for the choice fruit, sip from the best cup.
Exercise. Floss. Go for a walk, and then call it a day.
And when the night is past and the morning has come, there is strength enough to say, “God, I’m holding out for your good promises, because I love them.”
I will watch and wait stubbornly this Advent, and push back the boundaries.
I will make a little Christmas, right here, one that’s truer than true.
(Is there a card for that?)
GOING DEEPER
Listen as Kate speaks with writer Dani Shapiro about uncovering life-altering and long-hidden family secrets, and what to do when the truth is complicated in “Family Secrets” (40 minutes).